Uhaw Pa Sa Camel

The Vermicelli from Hell

Hello. In a flash of inspiration or a fit of madness, I invented the following recipe which I call the Vermicelli from Hell. Exactly why I made it, maybe too much alcohol in my system or too many of those Thundarr the Barbarian reruns, I don't remember. But, I clearly recall the hellishly engineered taste and it caused me nightmares for weeks after. For those stupid enough to try, here it is. Remember that altering the basic ingredients might spoil(!) the taste so be forewarned.

1 can (155 g) canned tuna, spicy (I used Century tuna)
1 can squid adobo (I recommend Saba brand)
1/2 can button mushrooms, sliced. (Use SM bonus for that extra large mutated look)
1 clove garlic, crushed
1 bulb onion, diced
4 red chili pepper (siling labuyo), crushed
1 pack vermicelli (bihon) noodles
1 tablespoon used oil
1 dash salt
1 pinch sugar
fish sauce (patis)
4 cups water

Sautee the onion and garlic in the used oil in a wok. Add the tuna and heat up for a little while, then add the water and the noodles. Cover up for about 4 minutes then add the salt, sugar and patis (to taste!). Throw in the siling labuyo and canned squid (don't slice the squid). Cook until it gains that hellish aroma. Serves 20 or more.

Write a suicide note before tasting or, you can wring your hands in the air and shout, "It's alive!" Then serve your unsuspecting enemies.

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